Wigwam Jones

One of the things I noticed last week at the Air Show is that I did not have a long enough lens. The longest focal length lens I have is roughly 200mm, which equates to about 300mm on a digital camera (due to the smaller sensor size on a digital camera versus a 35mm frame of film, hmmm). I took some nice plane shots, but frankly, I wasn't able to fill the frame up, and that's because I could not 'get close' enough with my 200mm lens. In traditional photography, a photographer should zoom with his feet - that is, get closer. But it is a bit hard to get closer to objects that are up in the sky. Levitating is frowned upon, and frankly, who wants to get sucked up into a jet engine intake anyway?

So I shopped around and found a cheap ($40) 90-300mm zoom lens on eBay to fit my Pentax *ist DS digital camera. It did not have the highest recommendations, and it was made in 1994, but it hard to beat the price. So it arrived yesterday.

Today I wanted to go try it out, but air shows are a bit hard to find when you want one. So I settled on going to the nearby Detroit Zoo an pointing my lens at innocent animals that never did me no harm nohow.

The Detroit Zoo is actually in Royal Oak; I can practically throw a rock and hit it from my flophouse. But it is still a bit too far to walk, so I drove over. I read that parking is five dollars, but nobody was charging any money, so I got in line, parked, and went into the zoo (zoo entrance is $11 for adults and you don't get to do the cool extra things or see the giraffes). What a rip.

The first thing I saw was this otter. I think it's an otter, anyway.

And by the way, it was beastly hot (beastly in the zoo, get it? I kill myself!). Got up to like 87 degrees and really pretty humid. It was not that much fun. However, I did enjoy the wild animal smells and watching people who have not been around farm animals and such react to them. That was entertaining.

As always, I instantly remembered why it is I don't go to zoos much. It's because people suck. Yes, going to a zoo brings out the worst in some parents. They have elventy-dozen kids, and they let them run like monsters all over. I lean against a fence to get some stability to take a photo, and here's Dennis the freaking Menace pulling the fence as hard as he can, back and forth, like he's going to tear it down. Parents? Nope, they're oblivious.

Then you've got the young adults - if you can call them that - who don't like the fact that the animals won't look at them. So they commence to screaming, shouting, making noise, banging things on the ground, and sometimes they pick up small pebbles and trash and toss it at the animals. "Why is it just laying there? Let's make it do something!" I had to seriously suppress the urge to strangle.

Here's a camel. I like camels.

Then, of course, I discover that none of the drinking fountains work. Why? Well, nobody knows, but you can buy a bottle of water from one of the many friendly vendors scattered around the zoo. Hmmm.

I have no idea what this thing is. Probably an Ibex or a Thumping Terwilliger, I'd guess.

Ah, a pelican. I love pelicans. They're so regal and stately and they have knees that go the wrong way. That's neat.

Now here is a monkey, and I'll tell you, this creature was a lot better behaved than most of the evil children running around like screaming things-that-run-around. However, I had to take about a dozen photos before I got one to come out, properly exposed and focused correctly. Kind of weird, actually. Like the monkey could control my camera. Oooh.

And ever buddy loves a bar. I think bears are the neatest things ever, but no way would I get up close and personal with one like that guy up in Alaska who used to kiss bears and got himself more or less eaten for his trouble.

More pelicans. They got a lot of 'em.

Bald Eagles. A very stand-offish bird, if you ask me. Not that a turkey looks all that friendly (the turkey was nearly selected as our national bird).

Here's an anteater. Remember that cartoon? Who did that anteater's voice, Joey Bishop? I can never remember. I liked that cartoon.

Prairie Dogs! Gotta tell you, Milcom Miasma and I decided a long time ago that prairie dogs got no philosophy. Sure, they can stand around all day and criticize us, but when it comes right down to it, I'd rather have cable TV and a microwave oven than the prairie dog holes they have. Them dogs, I tell ya...

What's wrong with this picture? Sure, you know. Those plexiglass shields gotta go. Get those kids up front and personal with nature, baby. That'll fix their little red wagon.

The American Bison. I like these smelly old hulking things. When I was stationed at Camp Pendleton, California, they used to stand in the middle of the road and block traffic. They knew what they were doing. And they wouldn't move for hours. And what are you gonna do, argue with a buffalo? I really don't think so.

This is one tired kangaroo. He seems to be asking for 'just five more minutes'. I know the feeling, buddy. You sack out, I'll keep an eye on things.

Zebra! Zebras are fun. But they stand out. You'd think they'd have figured out that lions kind of look for those stripes. Dude, some camouflage might not be that bad an idea.

Small girl on a brass elephant. No idea who she is, but her mom was taking her photo, so I took one too. Nice photo. Now I wish I knew who her mom was so I could give her the photo, it came out pretty well.

Peacock! This is a personal best for me, I have never gotten a decent photo of a peacock until now. I'm quite pleased.

Rhinos are not all that interesting to me, but they are pretty big. One idiot zoo patron kept stamping his feet and yelling at this one to 'do something'. I would have loved it if it turned out that rhinos could jump across moats and fences and it had just eaten the maroon's head right there in front of God and ever buddy. But it didn't.

Tyger, tyger, burning bright! In the forests of the night! Or anyway, in the zoo near old Detroit! Got this one just as he was jumping out of his bath. It looked very refreshing. That thing behind him is a big rubber ball he gets to play with. Big kitty, big toys, I guess.

So that was the zoo. I was very hot and very tired by the end of it all, and I didn't do much but run around and point my new lens at Fierce Creatures (which is an excellent movie, by the way, you should get it). I think the new lens is going to work out OK, this is a good thing. I got a bit more sunburned, but mainly I think it was because I had not yet recovered from last week's sunburn - this one is very minor. Now it is time to relax a bit. I think some cartoons are in order.

Smooches,

Wiggy